Gettin’ in the Ring With Satan

Yup. The Catholic church is not one to lay down and play dead with all of the nasty sinning going on in the world today. They’re in shape, weighed in and ready to go the distance with Lucifer himself.

ROME – The Catholic Church has vowed to “fight the Devil head-on” by training hundreds of priests as exorcists. Father Gabriele Amorth, 82, the Exorcist in Chief, announced the initiative amid church concerns about growing worldwide interest in Satanism and the occult.

Lucifer is a tough competitor and it’s gonna take more than just some wannabe Leon Spinks type to bring him down. So the plan calls for training a group of priests in each diocese in the fine art of exorcism in order to take the old trident toter down.

“Thanks be to God that we have a Pope who has decided to fight the Devil head-on,” Father Amorth said.

“Now bishops are to be obliged to have a number of established exorcists for their diocese. Too many bishops are not taking this seriously and are not delegating their priests in the fight against the Devil. You have to hunt high and low for a proper, trained exorcist.”

Boy, isn’t that the truth! I can never find a good exorcist when I need one! And do we ever need them now. What with the wars, genocides, corruption at the highest levels, thievery, adultery and all of the coveting that’s going on, a good godly gang of exorcists is just what the doctor ordered.

I wonder who they’re gonna go after first? Maybe they’ll start with all of those child molesting, perverted, pedophile priests out running rampant in our neighborhoods. It’ll save them a ton of money in lawsuits if they can get Satan out of those ol’ boys.  Heaven knows that those priests are not responsible for their own behavior. It HAS to be Satan.

The Vatican is concerned that young people are being exposed to Satanism through the media, rock music and the internet. 

The Vatican failed to mention the young people that are being exposed to Satanism in the confessional and the rectory.

Fuckin’ idiots.

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