Bush Describes Lofty Plans for His Retirement

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In rare interviews with Robert Draper of GQ Magazine, Bush reveals the important humanitarian efforts he will pursue once he leaves office in 2009.

“…getting in the car, getting bored, going down to the ranch,” he says. He also has big plans for making money. “I’ll give some speeches, to replenish the ol’ coffers,” says Mr Bush, who is already estimated to be worth $20m. “I don’t know what my dad gets – it’s more than 50-75 [thousand dollars a speech], and “Clinton’s making a lot of money”.

(Would anyone really pay good money to hear his crap once he leaves office?)

These revelations are part of a newly published book called Dead Certain. It is unclear if the title describes the fact that Bush is dead certain that his policies have been right or that all the rest of us are dead certain that they are wrong. Or it might describe the 70+ thousand people who are most certainly dead due to his invasion/occupation of Iraq. In any case, Bush does say that whenever he starts feeling bad about the casualties in Iraq he

…turns to God for comfort. “I’ve got God’s shoulder to cry on, and I cry a lot,” he says. “I’ll bet I’ve shed more tears than you can count.”

Jimmy Carter, now a member of The Elders,  spends his time working on human rights issues and resolving conflicts around the world. Bush Sr. and Bill Clinton joined forces to raise awareness and dollars for Katrina victims and even tsunami victims in Asia.

But these shoes are just a little too big for Bushy Jr. to fill. Nah, I think that him just loafing around down on his ranch is the safest thing for all of us.

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2 Comments on “Bush Describes Lofty Plans for His Retirement”

  1. Kathy Says:

    What’s so funny about his remarks is the fact that his ranch isn’t even really a ranch. It’s nothing but window dressing and stage props that were put in place before he ran for president.

  2. Mockingbird Says:

    If Bill Clinton can get paid handsomely for making speeches (wisdom to some, crap to others), why not George W. Bush? ;p


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