Gay Sex-No! Beast Sex-A-OK!

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Catholic Church Endorses Inter-species Relationships (as long as it produces offspring)

I thought I had seen it all and then I saw this at Americablog. Thinking John must be just be kidding us, you know, blog joshing, ha ha, hey, good one, John. Then I checked and saw this at National Geographic!

THEY’RE ACTUALLY TALKING ABOUT MAKING PEOPLE OUT OF MICE! AND THEY THINK IT’S NORMAL!

Ok, I’m gonna settle down and write this story. Now, we all know that the Catholic Church insists on chastity for its priests, nuns and above. Chastity is defined as abstinence from sexual intercourse with the opposite sex. (I’m assuming that’s their definition because of all the same sex and fondling type activity that seems to be permissible) Anyway, despite the churches ban on abortions, birth control and premarital sex, when it comes to a woman raising a child that was fathered by a different species of animal, well, they are ok with that. From Americablog:

Human-animal hybrid embryos conceived in the laboratory – so-called “chimeras” – should be regarded as human and their mothers should be allowed to give birth to them, the Roman Catholic Church said yesterday.
Under draft Government legislation to be debated by Parliament later this year, scientists will be given permission for the first time to create such embryos for research as long as they destroy them within two weeks.
But the Catholic bishops of England and Wales, in a submission to the Parliamentary joint committee scrutinizing the draft legislation, said that the genetic mothers of “chimeras” should be able to raise them as their own children if they wished.
The bishops said that they did not see why these “inter-species” embryos should be treated any differently than others.

Experiments were first done in China where human and rabbit cells were successfully mixed and allowed to survive for just a few days. Last year, at the Mayo Clinic, piglets with human blood flowing in their veins were developed. (getting queasy yet?) And at Stanford, plans are in the making for next year to produce mice with human brains.

David Magnus, director of the Stanford Center for Biomedical Ethics at Stanford University, believes the real worry is whether or not chimeras will be put to uses that are problematic, risky, or dangerous.

“For example, an experiment that would raise concerns, he said, is genetically engineering mice to produce human sperm and eggs, then doing in vitro fertilization to produce a child whose parents are a pair of mice. Most people would find that problematic,” he said.

Um, problematic David? PROBLEMATIC? THAT MY PARENTS ARE A COUPLE OF RATS…PROBLEMFUCKINGMATIC?

Whew! Ok, sorry. I shouldn’t get so emotional when I’m writing. Afterall, I am a professional! Infact, I think the Catholics might have a point. If we can successfully germinate these chimera, raise them, educate them, refine them, teach them manners and etiquette then by God, maybe someday one of them could become a member of society, could, you know, fit in. Why, they could even become successful! They could even be…. the pope! See why I call it World Gone Mad?

PS: You Catholics out there. Don’t get on my case. Your church said it, not me.

Explore posts in the same categories: religion, Science

23 Comments on “Gay Sex-No! Beast Sex-A-OK!”

  1. Capt Fogg Says:

    All of a sudden I’m beginning to understand where Cheney comes from and why Ann Coulter is what she is. It s huge relief to think that I’m not actually of the same species.

    I have no clue what Ratzy is thinking though. Maybe it’s about breeding a new flock who actually are sheep or maybe he’d like to have a mistress nobody can fault him for having because she actually is a fox.

    It does help me understand why so many of my favorite comedians and fellow atheists were raised Catholic.

  2. Kathy Says:

    That’s despicable, and to think this group is opposed to stem cell research that could actually HELP humanity.

    And why is it okay to mix different species in a petri dish, but they have a holy fit when two human men or two human women want to comingle? Unbelievable.

  3. expatbrian Says:

    Kathy,
    No, they don’t have a fit when two men want to comingle, as long as they are priests or bishops. In that case, they will go to great lengths to cover up for it, even if it involves children. If one is exposed they will simply move him to a new parish where his behavior is not yet known. Its only the rest of us, those of us who don’t wear the cloth, that the church condemns.
    Sorry for the sarcasm. The hypocritical, get wealthy on the backs of the poor, keep our followers in the dark ages Catholic church disgusts me. If there was a God, at least the kind of God I was taught about, they would disgust him too.

  4. aka Says:

    From the immortal words of Bender via Futurama…
    “Is the space Pope raptillian?”

  5. Chuck Says:

    And so… when my Mother would come into my room and look around and say, “What! Were you raised by monkeys? Clean this up!”,
    I should have said.. “Wait till 2007, it could have happened!”

    Glad I was just an Altar Boy, and not an Alter Boy.

  6. mark h Says:

    Chimera is such a pleasant word for a zygote – it’s hard to believe it could imply anything bad.


  7. Fie upon you AKA! You took my wonderful line!

    This is one of the funniest things that I have read in a while. Lordy. I popped my colostomy I laughed so hard!

    HJ

  8. Louise Says:

    Glad to see that Stanford loves “Pinky and the Brain.” How can “a child whose parents are a pair of mice…” be problematic? One of the most beloved childrens’ books ever features a mouse whose parents are humans – we are used to the basic concept of mouse-human families. Just call the kid Stuart Big.

    BTW, you’ve used the wrong photograph for Pope Reptilicus; that’s actually a photo of his successor, Pope Amphibius II. Common mistake.

  9. Chesire11 Says:

    I don’t beleive the Church is endorsing the creation of “chimeras,” (in fact it clearly would be stridently opposed to the practice). It’s position is that once created, they should not be killed. It’s analagous to the Church’s position on abortion; the fact that it opposes abortion in the case of pregnancy resulting from rape or incest does not constitute endorsement of either rape or incest.

  10. matt Says:

    Any body scared to eath that anyone in a position of power would een consider something like this? I am and agnostic, and I do not need religion to tell me this is sick and wrong down to the core. what is going on here????

  11. BCT Says:

    AKA, since you brought up Bender, here’s Bart

    “God Schmod, I want my monkeyman”.

  12. Enkidu's doe Says:

    Where in the Bible does this say it is well? So, let me get this correct. There is to be a new class of human… So much for “Intelligent Design, and that God created all. Seems to me this on comes from the Other side of the Heavens.

  13. Udon Nomee Says:

    LOL!!! You think it’s bad, now!?! Just wait until PETA gets in on this!!!

  14. Space Coyote Says:

    Does anyone remember that Daily Show Y2K special entitled, “The Greatest Millennium”? There was a three-way interview between Fran Baskerville, the Singing Psychic; a guy who had built a UFO welcome center in his backyard; and a guy who claimed to have anal sex thousands of times against his will. You see he was forced by aliens to take part in a mass genetics experiment where humans were impregnated anally in order to breed a race of human-alien hybrids. I had totally forgotten about that until I read this story. Giant Spider, indeed.

  15. AJ Says:

    Holy Cordwainer Smith!!!

  16. chris Says:

    did you all miss the part that says the Church is not creating these things? it is scientists who are doing it. that is fucked up.

    and what the Church said is fucked up too

  17. expatbrian Says:

    Thanks everyone for your comments.

    Chuck,
    you’ve reminded me. My mother would say, “Were you raised in a barn?” Still applies.

    Cheshire,
    I am aware of the church’s position that no life should be taken, whether through abortion or otherwise. The fact that an overwhelming majority of their “flock” disagree with that is food for another post. The church also only recognizes as valid the union of one man and one woman. In any case, it is absurd for them to make the statement that the offspring should be raised by the parents. What if the offspring is human and the parents are mice as one expert explained?

    Enkido,
    I agree. This whole thing is sinister. Many countries are suffering low or negative population growth. Perhaps this is a way to stimulate it. If you can’t find human mothers to artificially inseminate, use mice, or cows, or even insects. Hell, they lay eggs by the millions!

    Chris,
    No, didn’t miss that. The church doesn’t “create” things except excuses for their own crimes and misdeeds, and “god inspired” rules for everyone to live by. Of course scientists are doing this. They are searching for alternative ways to generate stem cells because the criminal, lying, racist cartel in Washington won’t allow human embryos to be used. That will change eventually. I applaud their efforts as stem cells are the next medical breakthrough technology.


  18. [...] the major blogs will do! For those who don’t know, Cernig at Crooks & Liars mentioned the above named post on their Blog Roundup yesterday. When I woke up this morning, instead of the usual 40-50 hits I [...]

  19. Obwon Says:

    What really surprises me is, why is anyone surprised? We’ve over 6,000 years of recorded history that repeats over and over again the clear message: Don’t rely upon emotional, superstitious, traditional offerings because they can be contrived by people seeking to seize control over the minds of the masses. Yet we never seem to learn.

    I was advocating that Bush be committed long before he was even elected. Yet we saw a very strange populism ignore all the lessons of history. So now we’re seeing that many of our leaders, selected by these strange processes, are unable to think clearly. And we’re surprised???
    What gives???

    Obwon


  20. I HAVE SPENT THE WHOLE OF MY LIFE ATTEMPTING TO GET MY BRAIN OUT OF THE VICE IT WAS PLACED IN BY MY CATHOLIC UPBRINGING. 70 YEARS OLD AND STILL TRYING. HELP!!!!

  21. Mr. Viddy Says:

    I must say, I am not entirely surprised by this.

  22. Kay Dixon Says:

    I am not surprised the Catholic church is all messed up, and to talk about gay sex, but it’s ok for majority of the priests to molest little boys? Isn’t that homosexual sex? I don’t know naybe I’m messed up:).

  23. jay Says:

    i love horse porn


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